Eulogy for Rotarian Dante “Sonny” Arevalo

May 14, 2009. I remember vividly the first time I met Sonny. It was during the excursion of the Rotary Club of Manila to Bataan that was organized by Tong Payumo. Among those who joined that day were a few members who are now no longer with us: Romy Batino, Gert Gust, Ting Angeles, Justin Ortiz, and now, sadly, our dear Sonny Arevalo.

I was a new RCM member at that time, but only a few people in that excursion knew that I was already an “old” Rotarian. I have been a Rotarian since 2002, but it was only in 2009 that I joined the Rotary Club of Manila. Before that, I served as a member and eventually as president of another club. In 2009, I was actually on leave from Rotary, and even contemplating on resigning from Rotary altogether. I don’t want to dwell now about the reasons for my mindset at that time. Needless to say, the person who sponsored me to RCM knew very well my sentiments. It was my classmate Francis Juico who called me around that time to ask if I wanted to join RC Manila. I was hesitant at first, but when I agreed to transfer to RCM, I made two commitments to myself: First is to lie low, maintain a low profile, in the club. And I knew that would be easy to do. Ang dami kasing big time and high profile members ng club na ito. The second thing that I promised myself was, if ever, if ever, I would strike up new friendships in my new club, I would be very choosy and careful this time. Well, now you can read between the lines why I was on leave. Anyway, I think I was successful on both commitments.

The thing is, with regard to my first commitment, I have found out that even if I maintained a low profile in this club, I’m still asked to work. I was talking with Sonny’s brod Toby last night. He asked me if Sonny was a Director of the club. I said no. He said he thought Sonny was a Director because he was very much involved in the Committee on Road Safety chaired by Nick Locsin. When I explained to him that we were only asked by the committee chairman to help and that it was not the first time that it happened, Toby asked “Alvin, package deal ba kayo ni Sonny? Kung kasama siya kasama ka rin and vice versa?”

With regard to the second commitment, I can also say that I have been successful because the few friendships that I gained in the club over seven years have been genuine and good. And among those few friendships, Sonny’s friendship was special to me.

On that day, May 14, 2009, I did not know many people yet in RCM. But all of us were enjoying the tour of the old Spanish era houses at Las Casas de Filipinas. I saw Sonny and he seemed to be an approachable person. I had a camera then and I was taking photos, of the houses, the views, and the Rotarians, in groups or individually. When I took Sonny’s solo picture, I told him that I would email him his photo. He did not have a Facebook account at that time yet, I believe. He readily pulled out his business card from his wallet and gave it to me. I remember that he did not join us anymore to Subic, but went home early because he said his wife did not want him to get tired. So he was very obedient to you, Miyan. He also explained that the reason why he joined the excursion was that his doctor advised him to join Rotary activities to relax.

From then on, Sonny and I would always check on each other if we would be going to attend a Rotary meeting or event. We always exchange text messages before our Thursday meetings to see who will be first at the venue and therefore will be the one to reserve a seat for the other.

One thing that struck me about Sonny is his simplicity. He walks into a room without catching too much attention. He does not talk loudly. He does not dominate conversations. But I tremendously enjoy having discussions with him, any discussion. I could talk about anything with Sonny, we could have our different views, but still, somehow I felt comfortable. By the way, we voted for different candidates in the last presidential elections. Even if Sonny would be stressing a point he passionately cared about, he comes across as non confrontational. And I could tell that he mingles with different groups from whom he gets a lot of information, because he has his ears on the ground. He is aware of the current events and the stories behind them. Sonny does not come across as a talkative person, but he is very knowledgeable about major personalities and issues in business and politics.

Some of you will remember our trip to our sister club in Hong Kong in November of 2011. I think it was the day after the gala night that we were going around in a smaller group around the city. Jimmie Policarpio was our leader. He was guiding us to excellent eating places and the best shopping districts. Our group included Ner Lonzaga’s family and Sonny. Jimmie, of course, would be walking ahead, followed by the Lonzagas then Sonny and me. At one point, Jimmie suddenly stopped, walked to the back of the group, and pretended to scold Sonny and me “Langya, ano ba kayong dalawa?! Magkausap na nga kayo parati sa Manila, hanggang dito kuwentuhan pa rin kayo nang kuwentuhan?!” That drew laughter from Sonny and me.

Sonny also talked about his family. He was very proud of his children Regina, Miguel and Alessa, and cared tremendously for his wife Mary Anne. He would often tell me that he doesn’t get to drive his fancy car because his son uses it. But at the same time he would proudly say that his son would sometimes know more about his business than himself.

Sonny is also NOT the type of person who would work on being popular, at least not in Rotary. But once you gain his friendship, he is a loyal and thoughtful friend. He would always bring a “pasalubong” back from his trips to Europe. So I have a drinking mug from Switzerland, a shirt from Madrid, a nail cutter from Amsterdam, etc. I try to reciprocate also, but since I don’t travel abroad as often as he does, sometimes I would just give him a “pasalubong” from my out of town trips. One time, I gave him an image of Our Lady of Manaoag. The next time we saw each other, he told me that Maryanne was asking who gave him that. I was amused because I was thinking that the wife was surprised that Sonny had a friend who would actually give him a religious image. Parang naiba yata ako sa mga kaibigan niya.

Sonny, pre, I will no longer receive a text message from you every week, asking me to reserve a seat for you at our Rotary meeting. But I am sure that God has prepared for you an infinitely better seat in heaven. The laughter at our table will no longer include your voice, but I am sure that you are laughing your heart out up there. You will no longer be with us at our small group of foodies who like to try different eating places every Thursday afternoon, but the banquet you enjoy now with Our Lord satisfies you to fullness and perfect contentment.

Last night, I was driving home from the wake. I was going down a relatively empty avenue. My thoughts were still at the wake, and I was feeling the pain of losing a dear friend. Suddenly, at that moment when I was alone and with no distractions around me, I was shaken out of my trance by a song through which Sonny seemed to be talking with me. Now, I am not a person who believes or waits for signs from a loved one who passed away. My Catholic belief says that immediately after a person dies, he joins the spiritual world and no longer interacts with the physical world, only maybe very rarely. So I was not anticipating that Sonny would make “paramdam” as they say. But the message of the song was so timely, that I felt that I was having a conversation with Sonny all over again. The first part of the song is exactly what I would tell him now if he is in front of me; the latter part I think is what he would tell his family and friends. Actually this is very unusual of me because I don’t normally quote songs. I think it is corny. But pre, since I think this is what you want, I will do it. I am not going to sing, but here goes:

From me: Every now and then / We find a special friend / Who never lets us down / Who understands it all / Reaches out each time you fall / You’re the best friend that I’ve found / I know you can’t stay / A part of you will never ever go away / Your heart will stay

From his friends and family: I don’t need eyes to see / The love you bring to me / No matter where I go / And I know that you’ll be there / Forever more a part of me, you’re everywhere / I’ll always care

From Sonny to his family and friends: And I’ll be right behind your shoulder watching you / I’ll be standing by your side and all you do / And I won’t ever leave / As long as you believe / You just believe / I’ll make a wish for you / And hope it will come true / That life would just be kind / To such a gentle mind / If you lose your way / Think back on yesterday / Remember me this way / Remember me this way

Alvin Lacambacal, October 19, 2016, Loyola Memorial Park, Sucat, Parañaque