On the Lighter Side

Husband & Wife

A small argument between a couple turns violent. Husband says: Don’t let the animal in me come out. Wife replies: Who’s afraid of a mouse!!!

If wife wants husband’s attention, she just has to look sad & uncomfortable. If husband wants wife attention, he just has to look comfortable & happy.

A Philosopher husband said: — Every wife is a ‘Mistress’ of her husband… “Miss” for first year & “Stress” for the rest of the life….

Do you remember the tingling feeling when you took the decision to get married? That was common sense leaving your body.

Son: Dad, I got selected for a role in a play for annual day! Dad: What role are you playing? Son: A husband! Dad: Stupid, ask for a role with dialogues!

Man outside phone booth: “Excuse me you are holding phone since 29 minutes and you haven’t spoken a word.” Man inside: “I’m talking to my wife.”

A very intelligent girl was asked the meaning of marriage. She said: “Sacrificing the admiration of hundred guys, to face the criticism of one idiot.”

Position of a husband is just like a split aircon, no matter how loud he is outdoor, he is designed to remain silent indoor!

Listening to your wife…is like reading terms & conditions of a website. You understand nothing but still click on “I AGREE.”

The sweetest message: — Husband to wife: You should learn to embrace your mistakes… She hugged him tightly….

Honeymoon Surprise

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said, ‘How bad is it doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin —in every way.’ The doctor told him, ‘I’ll have to put your willie in a splint to let heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week’. He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together; an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their honeymoon. That night in the hotel bedroom, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts. She said, ‘You’re the first; no one has EVER touched these’. He immediately drops his pants and replies,…..’Look at this,…..still in the CRATE!’