Developing a Child’s Problem-Solving Ability (Attachment Theory)

In pediatrics, attachment is the emotional connection that develops between a young child and a parent or other caregiver (Perri Klass, M.D., WELL, The New York Times International Edition, July 7, 2017, page 11). The scientific basis for this special bond between parent and child is called attachment theory.

What is attachment theory?

Attachment theory was developed in the mid-20th century by a British psychiatrist by the name of John Bowlby. Together with his student, Mary Ainsworth, they collaborated in carrying out experiments to create different parent-child relational situations for them to observe and predict children’s behavior. A 1-year-old is briefly separated from the mother or caregiver and then reunited. The behavior of the child is then observed and recorded. They labeled this as “strange situation.” They concluded that situations such as strange situation results to either “secure attachment” or “insecure attachment.”

Secure and insecure attachment

In repeated studies conducted by Dr. Virginia M. Shiller of Yale University Study Center and author of “The Attachment Bond: Affectional Ties Across the Lifespan,” she concluded that a child who generally perceives that the parent will generally be responsive to his needs may be upset when a stressor comes in, but calms down quickly, comforted by the parent. The child thereby demonstrates “secure attachment.”

On the other hand, children who have not learned to expect comfort and reassurance when they are distressed will demonstrate what is considered “insecure attachment.” These are the children who don’t even look at mom and dad. They turn or crawl away. These are the children who have high heart rates and elevated levels of stress hormone. According to Dr. Shiller, “While one might say, ‘Well, that’s just an independent child,’ we have other information that this child is stressed and saying, ‘I’m going to somehow manage this on my own!’ “

Lessons to be learned from attachment theory

Attachment in parenting and child development is not the same as “attachment parenting.” The latter term refers to the literal proximity of a parent to a child. The latter means not allowing your child to even have minor stresses and separation.

Attachment theory concludes that a child’s mind is flexible and quite plastic. This means that a child can develop his own style of problem solving and coping with stressors. It also means that a child will find ways to develop his self-confidence and gains excellent adjustment by exploring the world around him. The parent or caregiver in attachment theory therefore just stays in the background as a “support person.” The parent is somebody the child knows he can rely upon when stressor comes in, but the solution to a certain problem or task is made the child himself.

The key words, I guess are: REASSURANCE and ENCOURAGEMENT.