Remembering Dearly Departed… And Avoiding Stress

Because of the heavy traffic and the expected traffic scenario come All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day, not to mention Halloween night parties, more and more people do their graveyard cleaning, repainting, and visits to their dearly departed, weeks earlier from the traditional date to avoid the celebrating crowd. Others even go to the cemetery after the first two days of November, to play it safe.

The traffic that has escalated to “crisis” proportions, or “catastrophic” levels, as one authoritative urban planner claims it to be, can be very stressful to most people, if not to all of us. And stress can develop into illness or a sick condition, including high blood pressure, heart attack, and stroke. Logically translated, this means: “Stress shortens life.”

Let us tackle the first one. Why should you avoid the cemetery stress? Visit to the cemetery is like a party and a reunion. A party and a reunion can be stressful because of some reasons:

1. You’re expected to leave for the province for the traditional “undas” but you have limited resources. You are limited because of some financial reasons;

2. Toxic relatives. You expect to see relatives, friends, former business partners and associates, and other people whom you are trying to avoid. Worse, you might be trying to avoid the “mangungutang (people who always ask for dole outs and cash from you);”

3. Unhappy memories. Visit to the cemetery might bring about the recall of some unhappy memories; and

4. Life changing events like separation from family, removal from a job, marital discord, chronic illness, retirement, etc. can add up to the tension.

Avoid traffic stress because traffic kills. But if you can’t avoid it, don’t forget to smile. And just ride on, man! One of the President’s cabinet members was quoted to have said, “Maging maparaan sa trapik (Be creative in traffic).” A female lawyer friend of mine, who works at the Senate, couldn’t care less about the traffic, “Ang dami kong nagagawa (I can do many things).” According to her, when caught in traffic, she catches up on her readings, polishes some legal documents, and even has her house-call manicure and pedicure, including massage, inside her van. Reality is really funnier than fiction!

Yes, you can be creative when you’re stuck up in traffic and you’re traveling with your wife, children, and friends:

1. Tell stories.

2. Make fun of motorists around you. And don’t forget to LOL (laugh out loud).

3. Bring a minus one or sing-along CD and do some group singing inside the car.

4. Read the newspaper.

5. Listen to the radio. Commentaries about politics and religion can be funny. Just blurt it out. Laugh again.

6. Tell jokes, no matter how old or how overplayed they may be.

7. Tease and play “romantic” with your wife, perhaps like: Husband: Traffic ka ba (Are you traffic)? Wife: Bakit (Why)? Husband: Kasi forever ka (Because you’re forever). Hahaha!

Other ways to avoid stress this Undas and the rest of the year

Map out your day. Carefully plan your trips. Unload unnecessary activities. Take time to breathe. Relax. Reflect. Analyze the problem and simplify the solution. Good luck to all of us. Always stay healthy. Expect the worst. Hope for the best.