Conquering Stress Through Assertive Diplomacy

“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others.” James 3:17

Each one of us deserves to live a life that is free from the negative effects of stress. Said in another way, you and I – we – can live a stress-free and peaceful life. But we always encounter stressful situations in our daily dealings in life. We, perhaps in some or most days in the business world, encounter people who are negativistic, argumentative, and quarrelsome. Sometimes, it becomes a ‘dog eats dog’ situation. The result: STRESS.

What happens when you encounter difficult people? Encountering difficult people can make you fall into one of these categories: Passivity, Aggressiveness, and Assertiveness.

You are passive when you become a ‘doormat.’ People walk all over you. You are used and abused by many because you simply allow them to treat you as such – someone who is inferior and venom-less.

You are aggressive when you become a bully to others. You become confrontational, argumentative, blaming, and dominant. You are “the hate” of the group. Everybody even wants to burn your effigy.

The first two are extremes in a pole. The one in the middle is assertiveness. It is speaking your mind in a clear, peaceful, calm, and slow manner. Assertiveness allows you to communicate confidently your feelings, wants and desires. Assertiveness is exhibiting a strong and loving identity.

Conquer your stress through assertiveness

Learn the power to say “No” gently, calmly, humbly, kindly, and respectfully. Here are some tips: 1. Don’t look down while talking; 2. Maintain good eye contact without staring down the other person; 3. Don’t cross your arms; 3. Don’t clench your fists; 4. Don’t point your fingers; 5. Stand or sit erect but relaxed; 6. Keep your hands open; 7. Don’t look like beaten down or beaten with hunched shoulders; 8. Speak boldly and firmly, but lovingly and respectfully; 9. Never shout; 10. Never sound sarcastic; and 11. Never intimidate.